How Do You Let Go?
by elphiegravity
Summary: A little more depth to the scene when Pete tries to destroy Helena. S3E11 (Emily Lake) Inspired by the line, "How do you say goodbye to the one person who knows you better than anyone?" "I wish I knew." Bering and Wells


"We have to destroy the Janis Coin."

Myka's heart stopped. He had to know what that meant… That would kill H.G.

Sure, H.G. had been psychotic, but couldn't this job drive anyone to that extreme? She counted the people she'd seen die in the past weeks, months, years. All the situations she thought she'd never make it out of. H.G. had thought she was doing the right thing. And now, after everything she was trying to do to help redeem herself… Besides her work before that. She was one of the smartest people in history. "You're talking about _killing_ a brilliant human being."

"No, I'm talking about destroying the thing that Sykes is after."

"H.G. is **not** a _thing_. She's a fellow agent. She's been working for the Warehouse since before any of us were even alive!"

"Myka! Don't you think I know that?" Pete asserted, "But you have to think about the greater good."

"No. I won't, I, I can't destroy H.G. Wells." Even the words, even the thought burned her insides. _Destroy H.G. Wells, as if she was nothing more than an object to manipulate._

"Myka-"

"May I interrupt?" They both turned their heads. Claudia, whose eyes were wet with tears, had the hologram device in her right hand, and beside it stood H.G.

"Helena, I'm not going to let him," Myka started, but she was cut off by Helena's soft and eerily calm voice.

"Destroy me?" An uncomfortable silence settled. The sounds of the bare woods echoed around them, rustling and wing beating and breezes shifting. H.G. carefully reached for Myka's hand, wrapping her fingers around it tightly. "You have to let him."

"What?" Myka breathed, wrenching her hand away. She couldn't do this. Why would she do this? "No, Helena."

"Myka, we have to be rational, not emotional." They looked at each other for a moment. "And, quickly, before I remember that I'm not this noble," she smiled. Myka tried to laugh, but her throat was swollen shut. Her eyes burned with the effort of holding in tears.

"I think you should have a moment…to say goodbye," Pete said. He and Claudia left for the van down the path, their steps crunching twigs in the quiet.

"Why are you doing this?" Myka asked. Finally the tears broke and slipped silently down her face.

"Because it's the best thing to do," Helena smiled, though her eyes were solemn. "We settled a long time ago that we'd both be better off if I weren't around."

"That was then," Myka said, her voice high and shrill. She held it together best she could, but inside it ached like she was stretching the seams too far.

"I'll be fine." She pleaded, knowing how agonizing it was for Myka. She could see it strewn across her face. Her messy black hair pulled loosely into a bun not hiding it so well. She wanted desperately to ease this for her. "This other me, Emily. You say she's a teacher Myka, and her students love her."

She nodded weakly.

"Then, let me be her. Let me put some good back into world."

"You do put good into the world," she tried. "You, you've done things I could only dream of."

"I'm a federal criminal Myka. I tried to destroy the earth," she laughed. But inside it was still raw, the memory of that day.

_ "Just go ahead and shoot me."_ The cold grip of the gun forced into her hand, clutching Myka's life so closely.

"But you've done so much more than that."

"Unfortunately, that good doesn't outweigh the bad."

"I don't believe that. I think you're a better person than your one rash action illustrates."

"You, and nobody else," She chuckled.

"If you die," Myka choked on the word, "then you'll never have the chance to change that."

"If I die, I will change that. If I do this, then maybe I won't be remembered as that traitor who betrayed the warehouse and attempted unforgivable evils. This way, maybe, I can be recalled as noble." Her chest tightened at the frightened look of Myka's face. It killed her. _Damn it, you aren't making this any easier Myka. "_I'm ready to do this," she said finally.

"Well maybe I'm not," Myka cried. _If you die I lose everything._

"Did it ever occur to you, Helena, that maybe I was falling in love with you?"

H.G. froze for a moment, her eyes wide, and sighed. "Not your wisest decision Myka."

She shook her violently, increasing the headache that'd formed. "I don't care. I've seen so many people die in the last few months. If you go too, I don't think I'll be able to go on."

"You have to," Helena said, her own eyes damp, "for both of us, please, you have to be strong. You have to let me go."

Myka collapsed on the wet soil, her cheeks were hot, and she gasped with heavy, rasping breaths, choking on her own pain. Helena knelt beside her, placing a protective hand on her back. Myka forced her glance up. She felt like a child, handling this the way she was.

"How do you let go of the one person who knows you better than anyone?" Helena whispered through her own tears. They locked eyes, as if searching for an answer, but there was none to be found. Myka didn't want to stop looking, even though her vision was mostly blurred by tears. There were so many ways to search a person's soul, so many emotions to feel for one other human. So much heartache to come from one sacrifice.

"I wish I knew."


End file.
